Melania' Review SHOCKS! Critics Call it 'Self-Serving & Dull' - Why?!

Alright, folks, I just spent my afternoon watching "Melania," so you probably shouldn't. Consider it a public service. Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that speaks volumes, chose to keep this documentary/infomercial far, far away from critics until the very last minute, even skipping the traditional Thursday preview. Translation: They knew what they had, and they weren't exactly proud of it.

Melania' Review SHOCKS! Critics Call it 'Self-Serv...

The film, directed by Brett Ratner (yes, that Brett Ratner, making his directorial comeback after a long hiatus following those sexual misconduct allegations), ostensibly focuses on Melania Trump's return as First Lady. Ratner was apparently given carte blanche to document her life during the twenty days leading up to the inauguration. Think of it as an extended, glossy magazine profile, but on film. It's Ratner's first directorial feature since 2014's "Hercules," if that gives you any indication of what to expect.

One of the few moments that actually registers as something resembling genuine human interaction involves Donald Trump reacting to the inauguration day schedule. "Why are we opposite the College Football National Championship game?" he reportedly whined, adding, "Didn’t we have this date first?" Then, with a characteristic Trumpian flourish, he snarked, "I am sure they did this on purpose." Riveting stuff, truly. You can just feel the tension in the room, can't you?

The film also makes sure to highlight Melania Trump's "charitable" work, particularly with foster children. There's a segment dedicated to her reported request for Vladimir Putin to return Ukrainian children taken to Moscow. And while that's certainly a laudable goal... well, it’s a bit rich, isn’t it? Perhaps Mrs. Trump could also use her influence to advocate for the return of children, like, say, the 5-year-old with a Spider-Man backpack who was reportedly detained by ICE in Minneapolis and shipped off to a Texas detention camp. Just a thought.

Look, if any of this sounds like your cup of tea, go knock yourself out. But let's be honest here: the film's release feels incredibly tone-deaf. In a world grappling with real crises, the opulent wealth and insulated existence of Melania Trump feel... jarring, to say the least. Perhaps Amazon and Ratner thought they were delivering a sympathetic portrait of a misunderstood figure. What they actually delivered is a self-serving, ultimately dull, and remarkably shallow love letter. Save your money and re-watch "Succession" instead. You'll get more out of it.

Title: Melania Distributor: Amazon MGM Studios Release Date: January 30, 2026 Director: Brett Ratner With: Melania Trump, Herve Pierre, Adam Lippes, Donald Trump Rating: PG Running time: 1 hr 44 mins