Greenland's Crisis Plan: What Happens if Trump Tries to Buy It?!

Greenland is taking preparedness seriously, it seems. Amidst lingering, shall we say, *interest* from Donald Trump in acquiring the territory, the Greenlandic government has released a rather intriguing new brochure. This isn't your typical tourist pamphlet – it's a guide advising residents on how to prepare for a potential "crisis," which, let's be honest, many suspect is directly related to Trump's persistent, and frankly bizarre, pursuit.

Greenland's Crisis Plan: What Happens if Trump Tri...

The document, quite bluntly, encourages citizens to stockpile essential supplies. Think beyond bottled water and granola bars; we're talking food, water (obviously crucial), but also, rather pointedly, hunting weapons and ammunition. I mean, you don't usually see that on a list of recommended emergency supplies, do you? It certainly paints a picture of a population ready to defend itself, or at least, sustain itself independently for a period.

"This document is an insurance policy," stated Self-Sufficiency Minister Peter Borg at a press conference in Nuuk, the Greenlandic capital. He was quick to add, reassuringly, "We don't anticipate needing to use it." But the mere existence of the brochure, titled "Prepared for Crises — Be Self-Sufficient for Five Days," speaks volumes, doesn't it? The timing certainly isn't coincidental.

Trump, ever the showman, doubled down on his Greenland ambitions just this week. On Thursday he called for "immediate" discussions regarding his ambition to control Greenland, while asserting (somewhat unconvincingly, I might add) that he would not resort to military force to seize the Arctic island. That's… comforting, I guess? It does make you wonder what "immediate discussions" actually entail in his mind.

The government insists that work on the brochure actually began last year in response to "power outages of varying duration." Which, fair enough, that's a legitimate concern in the Arctic. But, the guide recommends storing a five-day supply of food, three liters of water per person per day, toilet paper (essential!), a battery-powered radio, and, oh yeah, those weapons, ammunition, and fishing equipment again. The emphasis on self-reliance is definitely clear.

Greenland's population of 57,000, a significant portion of whom are indigenous Inuit people, has a long tradition of hunting and fishing. It’s part of their culture, their way of life. So, while the inclusion of hunting gear might seem extreme to some, it's actually quite practical within that context. It's also a pretty clear message to anyone thinking of, you know, *interfering*.

The real kicker? According to a January 2025 poll, a whopping 85 percent of Greenlanders oppose joining the United States. Only six percent are in favor. So, despite Trump's insistence that he's doing this for "global stability" and to counter Russian and Chinese influence, it seems the people who actually live there aren’t exactly thrilled with the idea. This is shaping up to be one interesting, and potentially quite tense, situation to watch unfold.